I love my children. They think outside the box!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Oh na na, What's my name?!... (LMBO)
My mom posted this on my Facebook wall.
I love my children. They think outside the box!
I love my children. They think outside the box!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Phenomenal Mother
Child-less women wonder where my secret lies.
I don’t have 6 hands, a clone or 2 extra eyes,
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my belt
The pitch of my voice,
The look on my face,
The sting if I swing!
I'm a mother
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal mother,
That's me!
I don’t have 6 hands, a clone or 2 extra eyes,
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my belt
The pitch of my voice,
The look on my face,
The sting if I swing!
I'm a mother
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal mother,
That's me!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
YOU THOUGHT WRONG!
Ok...
Were any of you like me?
Pre mommy-hood, I can clearly remember being at PATHMARK trying to grab a few things for a gathering I'd planned for my friends at my place. As I pushed my cart down aisle after aisle, I could hear this loud, untamed shrieking. I'm adding items to my cart trying to ignore it but its getting louder and louder as the source of the ungodly sound got closer. Finally they made it to my aisle and this little girl was letting her father have it! I mean she was screaming as loud as she could, making herself gag, all in an effort to get her way and be allowed to "go with mommy" (wherever she was...kudos to that runaway mom. lol. jk). The poor man barely looked up to make eye contact with anyone else in the store, and probably to avoid somehow ending up on the ten o'clock news, he also did not attempt to dethrone the little drama queen he had in his cart. Lol. I was embarrassed for him and aside from thinking that the parental skills of the parents in question were...well, questionable... I can clearly remember saying to myself, "When I have kids, they will NOT act like that!".
Well, moral of that little story is, I THOUGHT WRONG! I have learned more in the last 3 years as a mother than I had in my umpteen years of school. Children will be children. So when painting a picture in your head of how yours will be, when in existence or at any particular age, take into consideration that they will have their own little mind, their own sense of "creativity" and their own character flaws that may have nothing to do with who their parents are or how they were raised.
Now the icing on the cake. I'm in Wallmart a few nights ago with both children. Mekhi decides that he doesn't want to be in the cart so rather than have him "pull a Pathmark" on me (lol), I allowed him to walk. He did ok, holding my hand occasionally, but when we got in line for checkout all h. e. double hockey stick broke loose! This kid was determined to eat a kit kat but was throwing a fit because he couldn't open it. (SB: As a mother I feel like beating the brakes off the genius that came up with the idea of putting all the candy and gum right there where you have to checkout. Right there where you are in line with no where to run. Right there where the kids beg and cry in front of an audience of folks who are already in impatient mode! Yeah whoever you are...thanks a lot genius!!!)
Anyway, I could not calm him down so I waved the white flag. I opened the kit kat and watched him eat it. Hey, say what you want, but learning to pick my battles is one of the greatest lessons in parenting. Once he started to chew and got quiet I shared some with his sister and I ate a piece myself! A lady in a line beside me who had apparently been watching started to laugh. When I saw her laughing I burst into laughter too! She said, "Girl I know that's right! You can't win 'em all!" I later found out she was the mother of 7 well-behaved children who still had their bad days. So to all you moms and dad's out there. If your little one "pulls a pathmark" on you, it's okay! It happens to the best of us! LOL
Good luck in those stores this holiday season! LOL
Remember kids laugh all the time. Mommy too can laugh!
And for a real good laugh, read this blog entry from A. McCoy, my children's god-father, who has yet to experience the joy of one of his own. LOL As a matter of fact, he has yet to babysit for more than an hour!
Antwane, we're coming!!!!LMBO!
http://judahpreacher.wordpress.com/2010/10/20/true-story/
Hilarious! It's a perfect look into the minds of those who have yet to become parents!
Much Love!
Were any of you like me?
Pre mommy-hood, I can clearly remember being at PATHMARK trying to grab a few things for a gathering I'd planned for my friends at my place. As I pushed my cart down aisle after aisle, I could hear this loud, untamed shrieking. I'm adding items to my cart trying to ignore it but its getting louder and louder as the source of the ungodly sound got closer. Finally they made it to my aisle and this little girl was letting her father have it! I mean she was screaming as loud as she could, making herself gag, all in an effort to get her way and be allowed to "go with mommy" (wherever she was...kudos to that runaway mom. lol. jk). The poor man barely looked up to make eye contact with anyone else in the store, and probably to avoid somehow ending up on the ten o'clock news, he also did not attempt to dethrone the little drama queen he had in his cart. Lol. I was embarrassed for him and aside from thinking that the parental skills of the parents in question were...well, questionable... I can clearly remember saying to myself, "When I have kids, they will NOT act like that!".
Well, moral of that little story is, I THOUGHT WRONG! I have learned more in the last 3 years as a mother than I had in my umpteen years of school. Children will be children. So when painting a picture in your head of how yours will be, when in existence or at any particular age, take into consideration that they will have their own little mind, their own sense of "creativity" and their own character flaws that may have nothing to do with who their parents are or how they were raised.
Now the icing on the cake. I'm in Wallmart a few nights ago with both children. Mekhi decides that he doesn't want to be in the cart so rather than have him "pull a Pathmark" on me (lol), I allowed him to walk. He did ok, holding my hand occasionally, but when we got in line for checkout all h. e. double hockey stick broke loose! This kid was determined to eat a kit kat but was throwing a fit because he couldn't open it. (SB: As a mother I feel like beating the brakes off the genius that came up with the idea of putting all the candy and gum right there where you have to checkout. Right there where you are in line with no where to run. Right there where the kids beg and cry in front of an audience of folks who are already in impatient mode! Yeah whoever you are...thanks a lot genius!!!)
Anyway, I could not calm him down so I waved the white flag. I opened the kit kat and watched him eat it. Hey, say what you want, but learning to pick my battles is one of the greatest lessons in parenting. Once he started to chew and got quiet I shared some with his sister and I ate a piece myself! A lady in a line beside me who had apparently been watching started to laugh. When I saw her laughing I burst into laughter too! She said, "Girl I know that's right! You can't win 'em all!" I later found out she was the mother of 7 well-behaved children who still had their bad days. So to all you moms and dad's out there. If your little one "pulls a pathmark" on you, it's okay! It happens to the best of us! LOL
Good luck in those stores this holiday season! LOL
Remember kids laugh all the time. Mommy too can laugh!
And for a real good laugh, read this blog entry from A. McCoy, my children's god-father, who has yet to experience the joy of one of his own. LOL As a matter of fact, he has yet to babysit for more than an hour!
Antwane, we're coming!!!!LMBO!
http://judahpreacher.wordpress.com/2010/10/20/true-story/
Hilarious! It's a perfect look into the minds of those who have yet to become parents!
Much Love!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
You Know You're Slacking When...
...Your 3 year old says "Dag mommy! Your car need a bath and some lotion! It is duuuuuussssssttyyyy!" (All this while frowning and trying to keep her coat from brushing against the jeep at all cost.)
Guess I better get it together! LOL
Guess I better get it together! LOL
Monday, November 1, 2010
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is!
I have had so many hilarious moments with my 3 year old Khy'lee. I personally think she is the funniest child ever to grace the earth...or at least my family! She talks like she's been here before and she doesn't take any mess! With her you have to be on your toes, come correct and mean what you say at all times! She listens well and forgets little.
About a month ago she started gymnastics. Now this rumbustious kid loves to jump and flip all over the house (her little brother, and her aunt and uncle) so I had to try to tame those abilities. Anyhoo, she starts and she likes it. They get to practice tumbling, trampoline jumping, zip-lining, walking a balance beam and a bunch of other stuff meant to burn them out so they sleep well at home, if you ask me. Khy'lee did it all too...EXCEPT THE SWING! Now you all have seen the Olympics on TV or some type of gymnastics competition (this type of swing is also used at the circus for the acrobats). You know the swing they swing from and then flip to another swing or they swing from the swing with their feet only to catch another acrobatic gymnast. Of course the version of this swing that khy'lee faced is only about 4 or 5 feet from the ground. The instructor lifts them up, they are to grab a nice tight hold. She gives them a push so they swing back and forth a few times, then they are instructed to let go and fall into a pit of plush blocks.
Well miss Khy'lee saw it and from day one, she was not beat! She would do whatever else she was instructed to do but each time the instructors lead the way to the swing, Khy'lee politely seprated herself from the group. After seeing this the first two weeks, I figured she would eventually give in and want to do it since all the other kids were swinging away. Nope not Khy'lee. She just isn't much of a follower (thank you Jesus). So, while driving to her class 2 weeks ago, my sister and I were pressing the issue of her giving this swing a try. We said all types of things but she was not letting up about her willingness to avoid that swing at all cost (apparently we are not well versed in child psycology). At that point I did what I think all parents do every now and then...I offered her 5 dollars if she gave the swing a go. She said, "Mommy, you can just give me five dollars for the zip-line. I do that every time!" Of course I LAUGHED at her "Let's make a deal" mentality and stood behind my pledge that the five bucks would only be for the swing. She still didnt give in and even asked me not to "make her mad" about the swing. My sister and I were convinced that she was not going to try that swing unles she decided on her own that she wanted to, so we backed down and left it alone.
Well we get to the class and she's doing the usual routines. When its time for the swing she actually walks over with the rest of her class. At this point my sister and I turn our heads so she doesn't see us looking (we were shocked she was even walking towards it that time). We keep our eyes off of her and I hear a loud scream, "Hey mommy, I'm gonna try this swing okay!?" I say ok...she says, "Then can I have my five dollars?" (Imagine the looks and laughs I got!) I said "Yes, Khy'lee...Yes!" And the kid does it! And when the class is over. She is sure to request her money, making sure I put my money where my mouth is!
What a wonderful day that was only for her to refuse to do it this past week. Telling her instructor, "I tried that last week"..."You can't try it too much or it will make you sick. Just like when my uncle be hanging me from doors and he be making me sick!" The instructor laughed! I turned away ...as if no one would know that I was the parent of the only black child in the class!!! Lol. My child even turned my direction and said, "Mommy do I get five dollars for trying it?" I said, "No!"...she played in the plush blocks while everyone else enjoyed the swing!
I tell ya!...She is a little hustler! Lol.
Kids laugh all the time. Mommy too can laugh!...she just better not promise money for any other conquest!
About a month ago she started gymnastics. Now this rumbustious kid loves to jump and flip all over the house (her little brother, and her aunt and uncle) so I had to try to tame those abilities. Anyhoo, she starts and she likes it. They get to practice tumbling, trampoline jumping, zip-lining, walking a balance beam and a bunch of other stuff meant to burn them out so they sleep well at home, if you ask me. Khy'lee did it all too...EXCEPT THE SWING! Now you all have seen the Olympics on TV or some type of gymnastics competition (this type of swing is also used at the circus for the acrobats). You know the swing they swing from and then flip to another swing or they swing from the swing with their feet only to catch another acrobatic gymnast. Of course the version of this swing that khy'lee faced is only about 4 or 5 feet from the ground. The instructor lifts them up, they are to grab a nice tight hold. She gives them a push so they swing back and forth a few times, then they are instructed to let go and fall into a pit of plush blocks.
Well miss Khy'lee saw it and from day one, she was not beat! She would do whatever else she was instructed to do but each time the instructors lead the way to the swing, Khy'lee politely seprated herself from the group. After seeing this the first two weeks, I figured she would eventually give in and want to do it since all the other kids were swinging away. Nope not Khy'lee. She just isn't much of a follower (thank you Jesus). So, while driving to her class 2 weeks ago, my sister and I were pressing the issue of her giving this swing a try. We said all types of things but she was not letting up about her willingness to avoid that swing at all cost (apparently we are not well versed in child psycology). At that point I did what I think all parents do every now and then...I offered her 5 dollars if she gave the swing a go. She said, "Mommy, you can just give me five dollars for the zip-line. I do that every time!" Of course I LAUGHED at her "Let's make a deal" mentality and stood behind my pledge that the five bucks would only be for the swing. She still didnt give in and even asked me not to "make her mad" about the swing. My sister and I were convinced that she was not going to try that swing unles she decided on her own that she wanted to, so we backed down and left it alone.
Well we get to the class and she's doing the usual routines. When its time for the swing she actually walks over with the rest of her class. At this point my sister and I turn our heads so she doesn't see us looking (we were shocked she was even walking towards it that time). We keep our eyes off of her and I hear a loud scream, "Hey mommy, I'm gonna try this swing okay!?" I say ok...she says, "Then can I have my five dollars?" (Imagine the looks and laughs I got!) I said "Yes, Khy'lee...Yes!" And the kid does it! And when the class is over. She is sure to request her money, making sure I put my money where my mouth is!
What a wonderful day that was only for her to refuse to do it this past week. Telling her instructor, "I tried that last week"..."You can't try it too much or it will make you sick. Just like when my uncle be hanging me from doors and he be making me sick!" The instructor laughed! I turned away ...as if no one would know that I was the parent of the only black child in the class!!! Lol. My child even turned my direction and said, "Mommy do I get five dollars for trying it?" I said, "No!"...she played in the plush blocks while everyone else enjoyed the swing!
I tell ya!...She is a little hustler! Lol.
Kids laugh all the time. Mommy too can laugh!...she just better not promise money for any other conquest!
Who am I? I'm a mommy!
My name is Eboni Crawford. I am 26 years old and over-joyed to be the mother of two very interesting, busy, personality-filled and hilarious little ones. I have a 3 year old daughter, Khy'lee, and a one year old son, Mekhi. I come from a pretty big family, so giggling at the things children say has always been a must in my family. We share stories, and if you're lucky enough to be a kid in my family, you'll hear stories about yourself well throughout your teenage years and adulthood, in a effort to keep you very humble and tolerant of all other children I think!
I was married at age 23 and 2 years or so later I'm a single mom of two. (Please hold the sad "Awwwwwww"s, lol) I'm lucky enough to have more family support than anyone could ever dream of. And while many others may have found a reason to gripe about the busy work of being a single mother, I have been blessed enough to have lots to smile and laugh about. I work full-time and crazy hours in a busy environment and coming home everyday to my god-given job as mommy leaves for some crazy days. Through it all, I have discovered a love for the role of mothers everywhere and an undying love for my own mother. I have learned that being a mommy means you will cry, you will scream, you will spank, you will hug, you will encourage, you will wipe tears, bandage boo boos, you will have sleepless nights and long, busy days, you will make mistakes, you will learn more than ever imagined and most of all you will laugh!
I read somewhere that mothers are a promise from God that you will have a friend forever. I believe that children are a promise from God that you will always have a reason to laugh. Even if it's just in recalling a memory. I plan on sharing so many laughs with you here and I hope you will email me from time to time to share your laughable mommymonies with me too! Enjoy and be blessed!
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